We place too much emphasis on every last expectation we have of other people to do and act as we expect. To live within our guidelines, our parameters, and our vision of what is ideal. Moreover, we go so far as to demand perfection from other people as we pursue perfection in our own lives. The trouble with that is we end up demanding perfection from the people surrounding us, and lack the ability to extend grace to the people in our lives and the people we meet on a daily basis.

I had a pretty recent “come to Jesus” moment where I realized I had been holding a portion of my life as a god before God. I didn’t know it as I walked through that part of my life, but sure enough it was later revealed to me I was inadvertently breaking the 1st commandment for years. I thought I had always kept God as my priority, but in fact, I was merely asking God to walk with me, rather than allowing Him to lead me. The result: my lack of a willingness to give up control and my stubbornness caused me to live outside of God’s will for me, even though I thought I was striving so hard to live within it.

Because I held this piece of my life as a god before God (intentionally or not), as a result, I then required every person in that sector of my life to also be perfect. It was as though I was expecting them to be God (or gods of some sort), and never fail or do wrong. In retrospect it was very twisted and I can’t believe I never realized what my expectations were.

Once I was able to establish the reality of what I had been doing, I was then able to let go of my demands for perfection in myself and in those around me. Don’t get me wrong, we should strive to be more perfect, like Jesus, but we have to allow ourselves and others the grace to fall, because we simply cannot be perfect in this life on earth. Grace. We need to extend grace and be filled with mercy.

When we fill ourselves with grace and mercy, we can do this:

‘…free others of the responsibility to treat you exactly right, and you’ll free yourself to live authentically as well, not worrying about how you’ll be judged or perceived, only about how you feel from the inside out each day.’
~Dani Marie Robinson~

I haven’t mastered this yet, but I sure am working toward it, and you know what? It’s much less stressful. It’s much less dramatic, and it’s much more peaceful.

If you really want to grow as a person, step back and look at your life. Is there anything you hold as a god before God? Is it your job? Is it your favorite sports team? Is it your role as a parent? Do you mentally demand for those in your work-world to meet your standards of perfection and get frustrated when they don’t do things the way you’d like? Do you mentally demand that your sports team drafts the right players and wins all their games, and then get angry when that isn’t the case? Do you mentally demand your children to do everything according to your standards with little to no leeway?

Do you desire things to go your way or God’s way? How do you react when things don’t go your way?

Free yourself from demanding perfection from others and you’ll be more at peace, I can promise you this.