Have you ever been to a wedding where the bride & groom have written on their wedding program that in lieu of sending thank you notes to their guests they will be sending a donation to some very worthy organization or cause? For those of you married couples that have actually used that phrase on your own invitation, I’m warning you now, you may not like this post.
I would like to know when and how this tradition started? Although I think it is a beautiful thing that any couple would want to make a donation to any worthy organization or cause, is it really necessary to do so instead of sending out thank you notes? If we’re going to get really honest, I’d be willing to bet a whole lot of money that most people who actually do state this on their wedding program are doing so for the sole reason that they will have the benefit of not going through the long, tedious, and hand-crippling task of writing out thank you notes. I know there are exceptions to this assumption, but in general, wouldn’t you place your bets in agreement with me?
One good deed does not replace another. On your wedding day, people travel from various locations to celebrate the most important day of your life with you. Your guests offer up their day, they bring you a gift, they welcome you as a brand new couple, but you can’t even write them a measly thank you?
Gratitude for one another is important. If you are just holding that gratitude in your head as a thought and you never voice it or write it, how will anyone know how grateful your heart really is? Thank you notes are important. Thought out, personalized and specific thank you notes have an abundant impact on the people in our lives. Have you ever received a thank you note that was very personalized? Did it touch your heart? Chances are it did. I have a box of all the notes and cards that I receive from people because it reminds me of the power of our words.
Write thank you notes as often as possible. Write thank you notes for big occasions, for small occasions, or just because you want someone to know how important they are to you. Write or say those thoughts of gratitude that you are storing in your head. One thing that people often feel is under-appreciated. If you get the chance to let someone know that they are appreciated, do it. It will change their heart and mind as well as yours.
But what do I know? I’m not married, have never been married and now I’ve probably gotten myself officially uninvited to all future weddings.
Maybe you have a different take on this? Write a comment below and let me know your thoughts on this matter!
PS – THANK YOU for reading, it does truly mean a lot to me!
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9 Comments
I have NEVER heard of it “in lieu” of a thank you note. That is CRAZY. I have only heard of it in lieu of a favor, which I think is very acceptable. I really apprecaite thank you notes and take my time on each and every one (which is why mine still are not done). Something my mom taught me :)Miss you lady – love your blog!!
Kari!!! So great to hear from you and I agree:-) I love that your mom taught you that (one of many beautiful traits I’m guessing you got from her). Thanks for your kind words and sweet encouragement. Miss you too and congrats on being a Mrs. Your wedding pics on FB were awesome! So happy for the two of you!
Love ya!
Jackie:-)
Jackie, thank you for writing this. I agree with you 100%!! It is simply rude to not write a few words on a card to thank someone for a gift or for just making an effort to come to your own wedding. People just don’t think things through, or wouldn’t they come up with this conclusion on their own? I agree and think it is just laziness. Maybe they will see your post and their eyes and hearts will be opened!!
ps Keep the posts coming! Love your blog-and you!
julie
Thanks for reading, Julie! Thanks for the encouragement. Love you too!
Jackie:-)
I agree with you 100%. Planning a wedding myself, I feel like one of the most important things is to show gratitude for all those who traveled near and far to show their love and support for the beginning of a life as one. As much as people think it’s the “bride’s day” or whatever, it really isn’t. It should be a day of unselfish love and an appreciation of all those who have helped to nurture and pump life into the relationship throughout the years, culminating in the sacrament of husband and wife. Sometimes I get so confused with this day and age when couples forget what the wedding day is really about: God.love. appreciation. respect. honesty. commitment. not in lieu of anything else. 🙂 Love reading your posts. Keep up the good work!
Katie, you are so right! So many people miss the point of marriage these days. I know your wedding will be filled with all fo those things and most importantly, GOD! Thanks for commenting:-)
My sentiments exactly. I always thought that was strange. Why not donate the money quietly, WITHOUT telling everyone else, AND write thank you notes.
Right on, sis! I always felt like it was just a cop out for people that didn’t want to take the time to write a thank you.
THANK YOU Jackie for writing this! Several people really miss the point of marriage these days. I also have never been married before but I do believe that for moving further on a true relashionship is needed much more than love and passion. It is needed Heart and GOD!