I have needed today’s Gospel reading [Luke 15:1-32] more times in my life than I care to admit (see the end of this post for the full reading).

Lost, helpless, and hopeless. I’ve been there many times in the past attempting to stay afloat in the midst of the all-consuming feeling there is no way out. We trick ourselves into believing we are the only ones that can actually help ourselves. Still we feel helpless so we sit in our own mess quietly panicking while we pretend on the outside that we couldn’t be happier.

It’s a piercing realization to wake up one day and recognize we have forgotten our own identity. Somewhere in the midst of our chase to create our own identity, we lost our true self and the only identity that ever matters.

You and I, we are first and foremost children of God.

It’s the one identity we will never be able to escape – praise God for His relentlessness. No matter how much we run from this one, unchangeable truth we will never outrun our identity as a child of God. We may bury it deep, lose ourselves, forget who we are, and even resent this solid truth at times, but none of that changes the truth of who we are.

The world wants us to find a false identity within it. This false identity is always driven by self-centered motives. We get a little proud and think we know what is best for ourselves and before long we’ve become the God of our own lives, completely forgetting that our greatest happiness lies within the Father’s will for our lives. Our greatest joy comes from saying yes to Him and Him alone.

But when you find yourself there – in that space of being lost, helpless, and hopeless it’s when you also feel the most unworthy to turn back to the Father. At least that is the way it’s always been for me. I sit in my filth and I feel unworthy. I deem myself unworthy to try and live a “faithful” life again because no one around me sees the conversion that has been happening in my heart and I fear their disapproval or worse, their judgement. I fear they may feel I’m a hypocrite or undeserving. Those thoughts alone are enough to prevent a person from returning to God.

Think about that. Our thoughts, our judgements, our cold disposition all contribute to the way another person may or may not pursue conversion and ultimately pursue God. We often contribute to keeping others away from God because we judge. To a person feeling judged, that’s enough to make them feel unworthy of conversion.

But that’s a lie. It’s all a lie. We are all on a constant journey of conversion. Our entire lives are an autobiography of our own conversion. Don’t ever allow yourself to believe the lie that you are not worthy of love, particularly the Father’s love. You are worthy because He makes you worthy and He pursues you relentlessly. He is often quiet and subtle, but indeed He is always pursuing you, never forsaking you, and never forgetting you. As Jesus tells us in the Parable of the Lost Sheep, “‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you, in just the same way there will be more joy in Heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous people who have no need of repentance.”

One single repentant sinner causes more joy in Heaven than ninety-nine righteous people. You and I, we are the sinners. The question is, are you repentant? Do you desire to return to the Lord? Do you desire to know and experience forgiveness and mercy? Have you ever really experienced mercy? If you haven’t, give yourself permission to experience mercy. It is life-giving and life-changing and it is for you. Did you hear that? IT IS FOR YOU.

You are always forgiven because this is not about you.
~Father Dexter Brewer~

We like to make it about ourselves and that’s when it’s easy to make ourselves believe we don’t deserve forgiveness. What if it’s really about what God can do through you? What if it’s about His power and His omnipotence instead of what you’ve done and where you’ve been? What if it’s about the magnitude of God’s love and mercy? Stop making it about you. Stop feeling shame. Repentance, yes. Shame, no. Allow God’s glory to work through you, through your conversion. Participate with Him and His ultimate plan, and don’t ever forget your true identity as a child of God.

Remember who you are. I will get up and I will go back to my Father.
~Father Dexter Brewer~

And there He always is  – awaiting me and you, with arms wide open and a heart full of love and mercy. Not because of what I have done, but because of my identity in Him and because I have come back to Him. He gives me the freedom and love to begin again, without holding my past against me. There is no truer love than a love like this, the love of the Father.

Ask yourself, has God ever refused you? Place your trust in Him. Return to Him. He is waiting on you.

**This post was inspired by the homily of Father Dexter Brewer {Pastor of Christ the King Catholic Church in Nashville, TN}, the Gospel reading (below), and the Mass on Sunday, September 11, 2016.

[LUKE 15:1-32]

The Parable of the Lost Sheep.

The tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to listen to him, but the Pharisees and scribes began to complain, saying, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.” So to them he addressed this parable. “What man among you having a hundred sheep and losing one of them would not leave the ninety-nine in the desert and go after the lost one until he finds it? And when he does find it, he sets it on his shoulders with great joy and, upon his arrival home, he calls together his friends and neighbors and says totem, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you, in just the same way there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous people who have no need of repentance.

The Parable of the Lost Coin.

“Or what woman having ten coins and losing one would not light a lamp and sweep the house, searching carefully until she finds it? And when she does find it, she calls together her friends and neighbors and says to them, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found the coin that I lost.’ In just the same way, I tell you, there will be rejoicing among the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

The Parable of the Lost Son.

Then he said, “A man had two sons, and the younger son said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of your estate that should come to me.’ So the father divided the property between them. After a few days, the younger son collected all his belongings and set off to a distant country where he squandered his inheritance on a life of dissipation. When he had feely spent everything, a severe famine struck that country, and he found himself in dire need. So he hired himself out to one of the local citizens who sent him to his farm to tend the swine. And he longed to eat his fill of the pods on which the swine fed, but nobody gave him any. Coming to his senses he thought, ‘How many of my father’s hired workers have more than enough food to eat, but here am I, dying from hunger. I shall get up and go to my father and I shall say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I no longer deserve to be called your son; treat me as you would treat one of your hired workers.'” So he got up and went back to his father. While he was still a long way off, his father caught sight of him, and was filled with compassion. He ran to his son, embraced him and kissed him. His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you; I no longer deserve to be called your son.’ But his father ordered his servants, ‘Quickly bring the finest robe and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Take the fattened calf and slaughter it. Then let us celebrate with a feast, because this son of mine was dead, and has come to life again; he was lost, and has been found.’ Then the celebration began. Now the older son had been out in the field and, on his way back, as he neared the house, he heard the sound of music and dancing. He called on of the servants and asked what this might mean. The servant said to him, ‘Your brother has returned and your father has slaughtered the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’ He became angry, and when he refused to enter the house, his father came out and pleaded with him. He said to his father in reply, ‘Look, all these years I served you and not once did I disobey your orders; yet you never gave me even a young goat to feat on with my friends. But when your son returns who swallowed up your property with prostitutes, for him you slaughter the fattened calf.’ He said to him, ‘My son you are here with me always; everything I have is yours. But now we must celebrate and rejoice, because your brother was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.'”