Have you ever been locked in a stalemate? You find yourself saying something like, “she’s the one that has to apologize first,” or “the ball is in his court.” You might think, “I’ll be friends with that person, but they have to initiate” or “I’d date that person, but they have to ask.” It’s as if you’ll meet the other person half way, but only if they take the first steps. One of the worst things about all of these situations is that these thoughts are rarely ever communicated to the other person.

What if the other person is thinking the same thing? What if you both are stuck in a stalemate because you and your friend are too stubborn to make amends? No one wins in that situation. You both lose and you lose out on a lot.

I have to admit, I know I’m guilty of this in various ways. As I was out on my run tonight, I was thinking about that stalemate and what it does to us and our relationships with other people. I was thinking of this human inclination to desire the other person to lead rather than to lead ourselves.

Perhaps it’s a fear of rejection or a response to being hurt by someone’s actions in the past. Whatever it is that makes you want the other person to lead, ask yourself this: Would Jesus withhold from loving a friend because he doesn’t want to take the first step? I think not. In fact, He teaches us quite the opposite.

Put away your pride and lead with love. I’m willing to bet that you’ll find it more rewarding than remaining in a stalemate.