We all have a desire to be sought after, to be contacted, to have friends, to be loved. It’s part of our human nature to want to be connected with others. Technology allows us to be connected like never before. There  are so many wonderful ways to do so with family and friends and also nurture new relationships. This is all good; however, we must be very cautious about how attached we have become to technology. Do you use technology or does it use you?

I’ve gone through stages in my life where I’ve felt work has forced me to be available at almost any hour of the day or night, no excuses. I’m made available by my smart phone. Email, text, and internet at my fingertips at all hours of the day. For me it’s a Blackberry which has a little red blinking light that goes off every time I get a call, an email, a text, Facebook messages, Twitter messages, etc. You get the point. That flashing light has trained me to be obedient to my phone, always checking to see if I’m “needed.” Most of the time, it doesn’t even matter where I am, I will still check my phone if that red light is blinking (and sometimes even when it’s not) whether it’s an appropriate setting or not. I guess that’s why people refer to it as the “Crackberry.”

When I go out to dinner, my cell phone sits on the table within my sight at all times. You never know when someone might “need” me and I want to be able to react as soon as possible. When I’m walking…seriously, when I am actually walking I can get sucked into my phone and pay no attention to the world around me! I’ve almost walked into traffic and  ran into strangers because I’ve been too consumed with my phone and essentially myself. There is so much in the world around me that I miss out on because I am staring at my cell phone screen reading messages that revolve completely around my little world.

Our precious minutes and hours are being sucked right out of us and into our own little technological world. When I finally do manage to disconnect at the end of the day, I usually notice two things: 1. Time spent on my computer or phone is often a giant waste of time and I’m usually shocked to realize how much time I have actually managed to waste on account of pretty much nothing. 2. Relief. It’s such a relief to finally disconnect and actually begin to relax.

Furthermore, we like to be needed. Messages, calls, texts and emails give us a false sense of worth. What I think it really means to be overwhelmed with technological channels of communication is that you’re busy. Usually, too busy for the people that you are actually physically with at the moment.

Technology has consumed us and we enable it to over-consume us on a regular basis. We need to set limits and boundaries. Stop living for that flashing light or the ringer or alarm that sounds when you have a new message. Be present in your life, wherever you are and whomever you are with. BE PRESENT.

When you are introduced to someone, shake their hand firmly and let them know you are interested in them. Learn their name, engage in conversation. Don’t let your eyes wander around the room at all of the people passing by and to your cell phone. Look the person right in the eyes. Engage. Ask questions. Don’t just talk about yourself. Get to know the other person. Force yourself out of your comfort zone. Talk to people genuinely and with an open heart. Be a good listener. Offer advice when necessary, but don’t push your ideologies on someone else. Gently communicate your opinions. Speak with love and understanding. Be the example of why God’s love is so great. It’s contagious.

Allow yourself to disconnect from technology. Don’t let your cell phone run your life. Most of the time, the emails can wait and they will if YOU let them. You are in control of when you choose to respond to an email and you will teach people your availability. If you have a job that requires your life to be taken over by emails, calls and texts 24/7, it may be time for a new job.