It’s well after 2:00AM and I can’t sleep. I guess I shouldn’t have drank caffeinated tea and ate too much  chocolate before bed. Oops! Or perhaps I can’t sleep because I had intended to write this post days ago and still haven’t done it. While lying awake in bed tonight, the title of this stinking post kept running across my mind like mad. I guess someone out there needs to hear this and needs to hear it now. Or perhaps I just need to write it for my own sake. I don’t know which it is, but what I do know is that I need to write this post.

These boots.

These raggedy, old, worn-out boots.

I’ve had them for quite a few years now and they’ve certainly seen better days. Two winters ago I told myself that was the last winter I’d be wearing these boots. I figured by the next year that I would have finally gotten a higher paying job and would have been able to pay off my debts (or at least made some major progress) and THEN I wouldn’t have to wear these boots any more. That was two years ago. Last winter I said the same thing…again.

This year, I pledge for this to have been the last winter in these old boots. The difference this time around is that I’ve actually begun to take the necessary steps to make that happen. I always wished for my circumstances to change or for some miraculous thing to happen and all of a sudden I’d be in a different situation. Maybe I thought the money would just miraculously appear after time…I don’t really know what I was thinking, but I do know it was not logical. However, this winter I’ve begun changing myself and my habits. I’m finally making the sacrifices necessary to pay off my debts – of course I can’t overlook the kindness and help of an amazing friend whose opened her home to me while I work at this. I’ve learned to say no to the things that will not help me to achieve this goal right now. Maybe those no’s will turn into forever no’s and maybe some of those no’s are just meant to be temporary. My point is that it’s worth the sacrifice right now in order to get myself in the financial state that I need to be in.

So I’m working at it – one step at a time.

Until I achieve that success, every time I look down at these boots I will remind myself that the sacrifice is just temporary and it’s all for the greater good. Who knows, maybe I’ll even begin to love these old boots again.

For now, I hope I can just fall asleep tonight…

I guess this post was for my benefit after all. It was rather humbling to write it all out and own yet another one of my flaws. The truth hurts initially, but truth is the only way we can get to the goodness that lies beneath. Once we own our flaws, they can no longer be used against us. What’s something you are working through right now? Own it and get on with it.