I journal a lot. In the past few years I’ve started to turn my journaling into more of a conversation. A conversation with God. This may seem odd or impossible to some people. Yet, I know many of you do the same. So for those who are a bit uncomfortable or skeptical with the idea of journaling a conversation with God, let me explain a little.

First of all, I start writing. Obviously. Whatever comes to my mind, I put on paper without much thought or discernment. I just write and try to keep myself and my desire to control the conversation out of the way. Secondly, I direct my writing to God – conversation with Him. In that sense it’s no different than writing a letter to someone in the flesh. So write. Write to God.

As you write, you must take some time to stop and listen. Like any conversation, you must also participate in listening. This is when you give the Lord a chance to speak to you. He probably won’t come in a booming voice (He might), but more likely He’ll come to you as a thought. As response to what you’ve been asking or writing about. When He comes to your mind, write it down. When He gives you thoughts, write them down. Write without worry or fear. Write without reservation. Just write. He will speak to you and you’ll become more comfortable with this process over time. You’ll also become more familiar with the way in which He speaks to you. Like any relationship, the more time you spend together, the more familiar you become with one another. This works with reading His word as well. The more time you spend with your nose in His word, the more familiar you become with Him.

If you are unsure whether something you wrote was really from God, discern it. Bring it back to Him. Ask Him. He’ll show you. It may not be immediately, but He will show you. Place your trust in the Lord and you will begin to see Him in ways you never have before.

I preface this post with this piece on journaling because I want to share a piece of my journal with you from last Friday. When I am writing in conversation with the Lord I often have to read it back later because I do really strive to stay out of the way and allow Him to speak through me. Until I read it back to myself, I honestly usually don’t recall what it is He had spoken to me.

This morning I read what I had written in my journal last Friday, February, 27 while I was with the Lord in the Corpus Christi Adoration Chapel at Aquinas College after work. I think it’s worth sharing because I believe this to be the way He speaks and thinks of all of us. In my heart, I feel that He wants you to know what He revealed to me about His love for you too. So when you read the passage below, read it as your conversation with God. Put yourself in the story.

———–

God: “Do not compare yourself to others, it will kill you. Your task is not the same as theirs – you are all different, but I ask you all at the same time to work good for me. But do not forget that you are different. When you have an urge to compare yourself to others, come back to me – come to me in Psalm 139:13-16:

Psalm 139
13: You formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you, so wonderfully you made me; wonderful are your works.

God: “Do you believe that to be true? You say that you praise me and I see you do, but do you believe this specifically…

I wonderfully made YOU, wonderful are MY works.

I need you to believe you are wonderful – you are so special to me. You are indeed wonderful because I made you so. I designed you specifically as you are because I need you as you are. You are perfectly made according to my plan. Don’t forget that and don’t insult my creation. Remember that when you put yourself down, you pierce my heart.”

(Psalm continued)
My very self you knew; 15 my bones were not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, fashioned as in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes foresaw my actions; in your book all are written down; my days were shaped before one came to be.

Me: Pre-destined. We are all pre-destined for different actions, but one purpose – the Kingdom. The road to the Kingdom. May my actions please you, Lord. Teach me to bite my tongue when it is necessary and to speak love when you ask me to.

———-

I share this, because we all need to know Psalm 139. We need to know the love with which we were created. It is not us that determines the way in which we were made – and wonderfully made you were. It is not us that determines our worth as we were fashioned in the depths of the earth. It has already been established. You were created with such an intense love. It had nothing to do with you. You were simply created so wonderfully because God wanted to love you. God knit you in your mother’s womb. When people knit there is so much time, attention, and detail, that goes into whatever it is they are knitting. If this is the way people knit, then how much more time, attention, and detail went into the way that God knit each one of us?

Read this Psalm. And then re-read it. Allow it to seep into your thoughts and live in your heart. The more you read it, the more you will believe it. We all need to believe it. Not because it makes us feel better, but because it is the TRUTH. When we think or feel poorly of ourselves we quite literally pierce the heart of our Lord.

Let’s choose not to insult His creation. Let’s choose not to pierce our own heart. Let’s choose not to pierce the heart of Jesus.

You were wonderfully made.